Dolls, snowflakes and badges: The Third Rule of Grief Club

“I don’t know what to say” This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot in response to the questions raised by Ana’s posts and our discussions. It’s one of the most common refrains heard by the bereaved.  It’s an honest response that can sometimes land badly.  Saying it can feel weak.  An irreversable shift…

(Not) The Stanford Prison Experiment

There have been two very high profile cases recently where damage to a glittering sporting career and risk of terrible consequences to mental health have been suggested as something worth considering when sentencing. Forget martyrs / remember victims The idea that having to go to prison to serve time for a crime you have been…

Max and Ruby: A ranty interlude

Blame pinkpearbear.  She, like abioborne, encouraged me in this!  The Glasshouse Girls also share part of the blame.  As well as encouraging my more sober, reflective side they also fanned the flames for this one. My last rant on the terrible Paw Patrol show remains bizarrely popular and I almost feel sorry for the people…

Empathy, empathy, they’ve all got it empathy

“[T]here is a terrible irony in the assumption that we can ever transcend our parochial tendencies entirely. Social scientists have found that in-group love and out-group hate originate from the same neurobiological basis, are mutually reinforcing, and co-evolved—because loyalty to the in-group provided a survival advantage by helping our ancestors to combat a threatening out-group….

In defence of childish things

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things I’ve always hated that phrase.  It’s one that gets deployed with glib glee when confronted with something that doesn’t meet with approval.  It’s judgement…

What the papers say

I am annoyed.  That’s a mild expression of the burning fury that accompanies reading something that is not only inaccurate but so wrong it verges on the dishonest. I am unable to go into full details so I will take a more general approach. With the speed of information approaching near terminal velocity the news…

#endstillbirths: Saving Babies’ Lives

My last #endstillbirths post was all about the good news going on to prevent avoidable deaths. This week brings more good news but some people have decided to spike that delicious treat with pieces of glass.  Some for self interest, some for self promotion and some for a lack of self awareness. Let’s start with…

The Civil War Within

I’ve been thinking about parenting and the past. I’ve been told that it is futile to live in the past and that we must move on.  Straight after this grand pronouncement and utter denial of the power of history to shape us and make us what we are we then returned to the past that…

The illusion of action

I am annoyed by a petition.  This troubles me.  Petitions are good things, they allow people to express the depth of their feelings about an issue in an easy to collect format.  You can symbolically present a scroll of names to a rictus grin and flash of cameras.  They represent people power, a self contained…

Jab another pin in me

I must admit (again) she’s good. It was one of the areas I didn’t want to go to but she sucker punched me and knocked me there.  I didn’t even see it coming.  We started with a meander though work related chat and career aspirations and then we took a subtle detour. When you were…