Uncomfortable truths, awareness raising and offence

Time and time again we come round to the same tension. Often we can’t talk about our experiences for fear of offending / upsetting someone whether that person has suffered loss or is pregnant or not.

We have to moderate the message and any offering that is intended to help people when they feel that they want it should they need it.

If anything is true about baby loss is that there are few absolutes. A strong conviction can flip on a dime in the face of the rawness of loss. This is why when you tell a hospital you don’t want to see your lost baby or have a funeral they hold on to them for a little while in case you change your mind.

I understand that not everyone is ready to talk about baby loss and that’s fine.

We’re not deliberately trying to upset people for fun. We are trying to prevent it from happening to others and improve support for people where that hasn’t been possible.

It may be those that have experienced this loss aren’t ready to talk about it now and seeing coverage is too much.

That’s fine, don’t read the coverage, turn away from the posters, delete the email. If and
when they are ready to talk we want to be there for them and those that do.

I am not doing this because I want to. I’m doing it because I have to.

When there is information emerging that can save lives by changing behaviour and treatment it must not be hidden away.


There is too much riding on this. Not just the lives of babies but the lives of those left behind for the babies that didn’t get to live.

First comes the rage, then the sorrow. I was sick but now I am well. There is work to be done.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. christine says:

    Wow. These statistics are sobering. Glad they’re being put out there so improvements may be made. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ShoeboxofM says:

      I haven’t read the MBRRACE report yet but I will when I have the strength and stop being quite so angry.


      Liked by 1 person

  2. Chantal Thomas says:

    That MMBRACE pic is a bit like ‘birth bingo’ I can tick off four of the purple boxes.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s