1. GRIEF RITUALS | Creating rituals in grief do wonders for healing your heart. Do you have any grief rituals? Maybe something you do on special dates like birthdays or anniversaries? How do these rituals help you?

How spooky.  Day 19 marks the boys’ birthday and this year its their fifth anniversary.  Our grief ritual is to not grieve.  Being sad and staring at candles is for Wave of Light not birthdays.

Wave of light is a grief ritual.  We treat the anniversary differently.  It’s an inversion of the brutal ending of the Sad Book.


Candles, there should always be candles….

Instead we want the page before that little sucker punch..


I take the week off for the boys birthday in anticipation of being a horrible mess but in reality it’s the week before that’s harder (that’s another post…).

Ever since their first birthday when my daughter was just mere months old we made a point of either going on holiday or an outing to somewhere fun.  Somewhere they would have enjoyed.  Their birthday is a time to celebrate the lives they could have lived and allow their siblings to be part of the day and see that their brothers are part of the family.

So we went to the Natural History Museum and celebrated by alternating wowing and terrifying our cubs with bones and full sized dinosaurs.

Happy birthday Nathan and Lincoln.  Your siblings got you dinosaur cups for your present.  They’ll look after them for you.