1. HEALING THERAPIES | Have you discovered any healing therapies in your life after loss? Please share what has helped you.

What has helped me is writing. Far from being the echo chamber I feared it has been a great way to explore the facets of grief and challenge the myths imposed by others on us and those we impose on ourselves.

I have spoken to counsellors and learned about what underpins my grieving approach. What remains unresolved and how to if not make peace with that , learn to live with it.

I have learned that as John Lyndon sang “anger is an energy” and I can harness the rage and channel it into constructive ways rather than being afraid or ashamed to feel it.

I have learned to identify my triggers and how to avoid them or take the sting out of their attacks (and actively court them to feel something).

I have learned what works for me does not always work for others and that’s ok.

I have found that sometimes channelling my grief into action is not a sustainable strategy. It can be exhausting and nudge me from hurricane to whirlpool without warning.

I have learned that I can be useful. My words and actions have meaning.

My words can also be a double edged sword. Reliving those moments to bring others comfort and help them understand our realities of grieving can be re-traumatising,

Sometimes healing is taking a break from it all.