LEMONS + LEMONADE | Have you made anything positive come from this unimaginable loss? Did you find any blessings among all the sadness and sorrow?
I’m wary of having my sons’ deaths being reduced to a pithy proverbial phrase. I don’t like the idea that any good that followed after their death would have only come from that terrible day.
I prefer to think that the good events events that followed would have happened anyway from a different, less horrific prompt.
When my sons died it did make me evaluate what I spent the bulk of my week doing but I had been unhappy in my job for a long time and the threat of outsourcing had already started my exit plan.
What I can’t deny is that had my son’s lived I wouldn’t have been aware of the horrible scale of preventable miscarriages, stillbirths and neonatal deaths and unlikely to be an active campaigner on the subject.
I have tried to channel the negative into positive but not in the spirit of making lemonade. It’s not making the best of a bad situation, it’s having to live with that situation and doing as much as possible to make sure it doesn’t happen again to another family and if it does then there is support to help them live through their loss.
It’s that burning sense of rage that you are not alone in your suffering, there are millions of families facing the devestation of losing a child and so many of those deaths could have been prevented.
This rage radiates from the Lancet’s recall to action on stillbirth. The clue is in the name. Amongt the presentation of data and analysis on the scope and scale of the problem is a very clear message. “We already called on you to do something about this 5 years ago. We gave you a plan, a strategy, even a business case to demonstrate the return on investment and you still did nothing”.
“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”