We fill the void with flowers

I never have understood the point of flowers as a gift let alone as a means of consoling the ill and bereaved.  With the world in pieces around us the last thing on our mind was looking after flowers.  The gesture is well meant but just made us more sad.  They were a reminder that things die.  We were in a fog where it was all we could do to feed ourselves let alone remember to refresh water to delay the inevitable decay of flowers that were meant to cheer us.  They were an inversion of the bright happy flowers that should have been there alongside cards congratulating us on our new arrivals rather than the procession of cards with serene scenes and yes, more images of funereal flowers.

The flowers also came with the added fun of being toxic to cats so we had the task of making them safe but with the underlying fear that we somehow missed some stray pollen speck that would kill our cat.  I would have little CSI interludes where I would imagine the cat cleaning himself followed by a fast zoom to the grain of pollen on his coat.

For added fun there’s the look of silent reproach when flowers have not been taken care of. Priorities are clearly skewed if the water isn’t changed and rotting blooms politely disposed of ahead of company.

Never mind that the thought of having to throw out what was once a living thing may have some uncomfortable associations it is impertitive that flowers are looked after.

*Deep breath*

Now for some whistling to calm down.

Life with Baby Kicks

6 Comments Add yours

  1. *hugs* I’m so with you on this – I know it’s a well meant gesture, but flowers can be so depressing after a bereavement. (Especially as I’m the sort of person who doesn’t get round to removing them until they’re turning to dust…) x #effitfriday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ShoeboxofM says:

      Thanks for the hug! It’s been nearly 5 years but I still remember the flowers slowly drooping and dropping their petals but not having the energy required to deal with it and how sad it made it all on top of everything else. We still don’t like flowers.


  2. Mrs Tubbs says:

    Hugs! I know what you mean, we got flowers when my mum died and I cried like a big wuss as they faded away. I kept reminding myself that it was all coming from a good place as people wanted to do something, but just didn’t know what. The gin and chocolate another friend gave me were way better as it was something they’d thought of and knew I’d like.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m now especially wary of what and what not to give. I think flowers should be given on joyous occasions only. I think that when you are bereaved, especially with babies, then if people want to give you something it should be personal to you, to what you need. As well as an ear. And saying their names xx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s